Post by Shana on Apr 22, 2013 17:40:44 GMT -5
Originality
DM: You're in a Dungeon.
Player: That's original. Is there a dragon?
DM: No.
Player: That's less original.
Character Development
Shana: Shut up so I can kill you.
Shana: Shut up.
Shana: Shut up...please.
A Tavern Far, Far Away
DM: The guard sees you and says, "Hey! You're those escaped prisoners we're looking for!
Player: These are not the prisoners you're looking for.
Charge!!
DM: What do you do?
Player 1: I charge!
Player 2: For Narnia!
Player 3: For Azlan!!
Player 4: THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!!!
DM: -_-
Tunes
Guard: STOP!
Luna: In the name of LOVE!!
Pest Control
DM: Okay Lux, you're on top of the giant wasp… Now you can...
Lux: I rip the freaking wings off!!
DM: ...
Lux: ...
DM: Okay then.
Don't do it.
*Party spends a good ten minutes purchasing chicken from a vendor. Several players eat the chicken. Some time later...*
DM: Suddenly the world around you spins and vanishes. Lights flash before your eyes and...
Samael: IT WAS THE CHCKEN!!
DM: ...
Shana: Spit it out! Spit it out!!
Teenee: What was IN that?!
Nats: Damn...not again!
DM: ... *Facepalm*
Squeaky Doors
*The party stands on the other side of the door leading out of the dungeon.*
DM: What do you guys want to do?
Shana: I'll use my epic sneak and move silently skills to open the door like a ninja and see how many guards are on the other side. *grins proudly*
DM: Okay. Roll.
Shana: *Rolls a 5* ...
DM: As you open the door, it creaks so loudly that the prisoners in the next cellblock can hear it. The two guards standing outside turn around and shout for you to halt. What do you do?
Shana: ...
DM: Shana?
Shana: ...I slowly close the door again.
DM: It squeaks again as you close it.
Shana: *looks over shoulder to the others* Guys? Crap just got real.
DON’T JUMP!!
DM: You’re trapped on the bridge with guards on both sides, crossbows raised. What do you do?
Shana: *aside to DM* Nats is gonna jump off the bridge, isn’t he?
DM: *aside to Shana* Oh yeah, of course he is.
Nats: I jump off the bridge!
DM & Shana: Called it.
Careful What You Say
Zythyx: Nats, if you pickpocket me, my snake familiar will bite your hand and probably kill you. *smug look*
Shana: *one eyebrow raised, passes note to DM* I pickpocket Zythyx to prove a point.
DM: *Quietly* Roll.
Shana: *Rolls an 18*
DM: Add 100 gold you your inventory. Zythyx? You just lost 100 gold.
Zythyx: WHAT?!?!
Shana & DM: *Under the table high five*
Reactions
DM: There’s an undead about five feet away.
Shana: I faint.
DM: There's a Dragon in the room you walk into.
Zythyx: I faint.
(Aren't you all glad I've been creepily writing down all the funny things you've said over the last year? >
DM: You're in a Dungeon.
Player: That's original. Is there a dragon?
DM: No.
Player: That's less original.
Character Development
Shana: Shut up so I can kill you.
Shana: Shut up.
Shana: Shut up...please.
A Tavern Far, Far Away
DM: The guard sees you and says, "Hey! You're those escaped prisoners we're looking for!
Player: These are not the prisoners you're looking for.
Charge!!
DM: What do you do?
Player 1: I charge!
Player 2: For Narnia!
Player 3: For Azlan!!
Player 4: THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!!!
DM: -_-
Tunes
Guard: STOP!
Luna: In the name of LOVE!!
Pest Control
DM: Okay Lux, you're on top of the giant wasp… Now you can...
Lux: I rip the freaking wings off!!
DM: ...
Lux: ...
DM: Okay then.
Don't do it.
*Party spends a good ten minutes purchasing chicken from a vendor. Several players eat the chicken. Some time later...*
DM: Suddenly the world around you spins and vanishes. Lights flash before your eyes and...
Samael: IT WAS THE CHCKEN!!
DM: ...
Shana: Spit it out! Spit it out!!
Teenee: What was IN that?!
Nats: Damn...not again!
DM: ... *Facepalm*
Squeaky Doors
*The party stands on the other side of the door leading out of the dungeon.*
DM: What do you guys want to do?
Shana: I'll use my epic sneak and move silently skills to open the door like a ninja and see how many guards are on the other side. *grins proudly*
DM: Okay. Roll.
Shana: *Rolls a 5* ...
DM: As you open the door, it creaks so loudly that the prisoners in the next cellblock can hear it. The two guards standing outside turn around and shout for you to halt. What do you do?
Shana: ...
DM: Shana?
Shana: ...I slowly close the door again.
DM: It squeaks again as you close it.
Shana: *looks over shoulder to the others* Guys? Crap just got real.
DON’T JUMP!!
DM: You’re trapped on the bridge with guards on both sides, crossbows raised. What do you do?
Shana: *aside to DM* Nats is gonna jump off the bridge, isn’t he?
DM: *aside to Shana* Oh yeah, of course he is.
Nats: I jump off the bridge!
DM & Shana: Called it.
Careful What You Say
Zythyx: Nats, if you pickpocket me, my snake familiar will bite your hand and probably kill you. *smug look*
Shana: *one eyebrow raised, passes note to DM* I pickpocket Zythyx to prove a point.
DM: *Quietly* Roll.
Shana: *Rolls an 18*
DM: Add 100 gold you your inventory. Zythyx? You just lost 100 gold.
Zythyx: WHAT?!?!
Shana & DM: *Under the table high five*
Reactions
DM: There’s an undead about five feet away.
Shana: I faint.
DM: There's a Dragon in the room you walk into.
Zythyx: I faint.
(Aren't you all glad I've been creepily writing down all the funny things you've said over the last year? >
I was never here.